The end or the beginning?

2 games yesterday, 11 frames today...........weakness, out of breath if I bowled more than 3 frames withought sitting. I was throwing well yesterday and was able to make moves on the lane without changing ,my 1st arrow target,,,,,creating enough angle to smack the 10 pin upside the head.

Today felt like I had food poisoning Damn shame.

.......pain in tummy caused me to leave......after a 5 bagger and gutterball / my last 6 frames.

Thursday, hopefully feeling well enough to bowl at least 3 games. Big Swing, Full Swing, The One pearl, 715a and the Profit comprise my current arsenal with lots of surface change needed going from house shots to flatter shots.\It is what it is.........we;ll keep on trying till we reach the higher ground, My schedule for the spring is Nationals April 29/30, SunCity Senior Regional, US Senior Open at Suncoast, Brentwood, CA, SUMMER Hammond IND, Decqtur IL, Jackson MI then back home to AZ......all depending on my stamina and ability returning me to th top 1/3 of the tour; I hope thesr issues I;m handling will work though....God Willing. I truly miss the cameraderie and the competition amongst greqt friends, Would love a few more seasons......we'll see.

After 7 months, I KNOW this is where we belong.

The more time we spend in the pool and the resort (house), the happier we are with the move. I miss working.....and once things are completely settled, I plan on working in a bowling center or pro shop, where I can use my instructional skills to help grow the sport of bowling for generations to come.

The bowling community in the greater Phoenix area is a close knit friendly group of good bowlers.....and we bowl on good conditions.....Brunswick Zones, AMF centers and some very strong independent centers,,,,,with management that are supportive of bowling.

I miss the LI bowling community, as I know most over 30 y.o .bowlers on the island and watch them continue to bowl, even without my coaching......lol. But the thought of 60=70 degree high temps and sun in January and February eases the pain of not seeing my friends. I just wish our grandkids were living out here!

I LOVE CHANDLER, ARIZONA

I am the luckiest man on the face of the earth! OK....I stole the quote from the great Lou Gehrig. Chandler Arizona is everything I hoped for and more. The house is beautiful, the weather totally beats NY winter, the shopping is great, the golf courses are beautiful (although I haven't had time to play yet), the bowling centers are surrounding me within 2-3 miles each direction (although I have been avoiding them), casinos are plentiful (no, I don't go every night.....in fact we've only been to Harrahs Ak-Chin one time).....and if we don't feel like cooking, we could go to restaurants every night of the year for at least two years without repeating restaurants.I miss my shop, and my fellow bowlers......and of course Dylan, Logan and Bella (although Grandpa Gary will probably, God-willing, be around a lot longer without NY winters and climate.)
My darling Marti has been keeping the world informed on Facebook, with comments and pics of the beginnings of our new life together. As I have said before, I truly wish we could have a "Kennedy compound" here in the East Valley and have our whole family here! Lets see......Liz and Scott running, BestBuy western USA, Marisa a full professor at ASU, Craig head foreman for DirectTV, Jeanine doing whatever she wants as she enjoys our grandchildren.....Jeffrey setting up roots here between his world travels......and, of course, our Lora is here, already. Ah......what is life if you can't dream!
Marti has helped make most of my dreams come true.......and as much as I loved her in NY.....I love her even more....HERE!

Its really happening!!!!!

Yes, its true......we found a beautiful house in Chandler, AZ. Yes, its true.....we are really moving out west!!!! We are driving there....leaving on Valentine's Day and getting there 3 days later. We plan on getting things in order so that we can move in early April. I love the colors of the southwest.....combining Native American with Mexican culture. I can't wait to help decorate our new home.

Finding out whats going on

I guess its not all about me.......but at this point I am being very selfish......and making it all about me. I am going to a cardiologist tomorrow, trying to figure out what is going on with my body. I have not felt well since cancer struck me in 2004. Yes, the surgery was successful........yes, the chemo worked......yes, I married my sweetheart.....yes, I had one daughter marry her best friend.....yes, I have a daughter who has been successful in education, working and guiding others and being successful in my first union...802.....yes, I have a stepdaughter who will never be a stepdaughter.......she is a very determined, courageous woman who is not afraid to be who she is!........2 step sons who will never be stepsons.....both as different as night and day, but both searching for their rainbow.........my stepdaughter who will never be a stepdaughter.....who is the mother of 3 of the greatest grandchildren a person could ask for!

...Yes......I make it all about me. I am scared of what I don't know........ a doctor I don't know........feeling that at almost 63, how vulnerable I really am....... a desire to be out of a 2 room mess into a home with the woman I love.......feeling heat rather than cold.....an oasis where all of our kids can stay and hang out......cooking in a real kitchen on a real stove and a real barbecue. I want to grow old with Marti........watch our kids sort out their lives and be who and what they want to be.......watch our grandchildren grow and flourish.

.....Yes.....I make it all about me. I am scared!

No Gloom and Doom

As I re-read my blog, I realize that no matter how much appears to be changing, nothing changes! I'm such a "Drama KING".....lol

So, I bowled last night......... 289, 255, 258.........802. Just so happened to be the highest series I have bowled in 32 years.......thats right, I said 32 years!
Went to the doctor today......blood pressure is perfect......no weird crap happening.
Practiced this afternoon......a continuation of last night......as I said to my friends last night.......I'm just going to enjoy the ride!

Discoveries if a cancer survivor

As I get to know other cancer survivors, we discover that we share other thoughts beside survival.When we get a belly ache, its cancer of the small intestine, cough and a cold, lung cancer, gas pains under and around your heart, coronary artery disease.It is a vicious cycle that disallowed me to hold my 4 day old grandaughter because I was afraid I would lose my balance and drop her (she is such a little peanut.....all I want to do is hold her.And hold her I will because most of my symptoms are exaggerated just making me weak.

I may not even bowl tomorrow night if I feel like I did all weekend. On a positive note, I ate food each of he past 4 days. I will get my appetite back. I really want to move to Arizona healthy.....not 3 months and dirtnap. I want to live at least another 30 years and negotiate from there 1 year contracts with options to renew.Marti and I deserve the happiness young love promises.
So I'm making an appointment with the recommended cardiologist to go ove tmy EKG and eCHO AND carotid artery and plan our attack. We'll just have to see which treatment will give me my energy back.

Whats happening in your shop?

Its been a rather early start to the holiday season at deer park. Lots of walk ins pricing everything from resin bags to HR professional 4 to 6 ball bags, newest bowling balls to closeout of last year's weapons.Selling between 2 and4 balls daily 3 cases a week. Some lessons scheduled with the Deer Park HS and the North Babylon HS and 1 with Copiague. Bowling on Mondays in East Islip, arguably, the highest scoring house in Long Island/Been dizzy a lot, chest pains of a minor non threatening manner. Got to step away from the fear and put it in a locked box,........I want to win a banner in the region and the national tour.That is my goal for the upcoming season.Those who know me, can figure out why this year.Of course at this age (62), its logical that I do not have a whole lot of time to become a major force on tour.....so its one shot at a time,matching up with the best equipment (in my case Track, Columbia, Ebonite and Hammer) As long as I can breathe and walk and repeat shots, I'll play what is there. I also intend to renew friendships, really hanging out with my fellow competitors, discussing bowling, equipment, and what golf clubs seem to work best in windy conditions.....lol.Either way, see all of you in
April in
Dayton. Staying at the Studio6 if its still there......great prices,quiet place and super clean! Speak to y'all after the cardiologists office next Tuesday. Enjoy the weekend ......stay warm.
Gary

Sometimes, you got to step back and take in the beauty

I know that its been over a month since my last entry.......its been a month that included Atlantic City a few times, 2 bowling disappointing tournaments, "Midnight Madness" shopping Thanksgiving Night out in Riverhead at the Tanger Outlets (it was a blast), taking medication and worrying over every heart beat and uncomfortable feeling near my heart after eating. Going to see a cardiologist on Monday in order to get on the road to clearing up what is and putting to rest what isn't. I have been very worried, unable to eat at the hours we are accustomed and scared that I have some serious work ahead of me, Thank God I stopped smoking 3 years ago.......I can't imagine how bad this would be!

If all my tests come out okay, or I need an angioplasty, we will plan to go to Phoenix around January 12-January 21 to look for our dream home in the desert of the sun. Naturally, if I need bypass surgery, the trip and purchase will be delayed until I finish rehabbing.......we'll just have to see.

My customers are doing well with the equipment i have chosen for them along with the first lesson thats included in their purchase. 2 different bowlers of mine shot 2 300s and 1 300 respectively.......Great publicity for the shop!

My game is still coming around, using primarily Ebocoltracker equipment.
especially love the Track 715A and 505A, the Columbia 300 Full Swing and Bedlam and Freeze and the Ebonite Magic series and the Evolve. It seems that Track and Ebonite respond best to my limited rev rate and lower speed.Great stuff coming out of Hopkinsville.........thanks Mr. Gallagher, Mr.Figliomieni, Mr. Murphy and Mr. Ussery. You guys along with your r and d staff, chemists, pourers.....you are all doing a great job and getting the product out there. Its an easy sell at all price points: something good for everyone!

Getting a bit tired.....its almost 3:30 AM........will blog later next week.
Thanks and love to all!

October 20.....York, PA, high blood pressure et al

This is the color my faced turned when the MD told me that my constant (25 years) 130/80 blood pressure was 161/102 in both arms. This is a problem that was never present and has scared the living daylughts out of me. On the other hand, I feel great......lots of energy, good appetite, trips to AC every 3 weeks and working as much as possible........along with practicing at least 6 games a day.......does that sound like someone with a heart and/or vascular problem?
Started taking a blood pressure med Monday and already there is a slight movement downward on my pressure..........maybe it spiked because of the stress of Marti's house, her Mother's house, us looking for a house in AZ, my defaulted loans on credit cards (2) 50 k, .......no wonder my pressure is high......lol.

I had originally planned to bowl the York senior regional since the schedule came out, along with the tournament 2 weeks later in Brookville. If my practice today goes well, and I feel good......York, PA.....heeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrreeeeeeesssss Gary!
Pressure was 145/92 this morning compared to 160/105 last night. I'll be fine!

October 1 and all is what it is

Being a pro bowler who has lost the heart to compete is like being a man without a country. After 5 years of disappointment and dissolution, I have pretty much forced myself to find other things to do rather than shoeing up and bowling. I continue to be the greatest practice bowler in the history of the sport.....lol.....but I still cannot make that translate into the greatness I need to compete on the PBA level. It is such an enigma!!!!!!

I still plan on visiting Lou in Michigan and with his expertise and help, evaluate where I am at......and what I need to do to be where I want to be.

I will keep my few followers appraised of my progress or lack thereof.

PS.....yes, I am very depressed about having this dream turn into a nightmare.
Thank God for a wife who STILL believes in me! I love her with all that I am!

Explanation of previous post

I spent the past 3 weeks since leaving Decatur, agonizing over what the hell went wrong with Mr.Super-Senior Pro. Itwas a major struggle in both Hammond and Decatur. So much so, that instead of picking up Marti and trudging up to Lansing, MI, I canceled out of those tournaments,and spent 2 weeks traveling to Reading PA and the Amish country, Atlantic City and the slots, Cooperstown: The Shrine of Baseball along woth the Farmer's Museum, and, oh yes, amregional tournament in Pottstown PA where I finished 3 from the bottom, but actually bowled better than I had all summer.At the very least, Marti and I had a fun vacation with shopping and education being the focal points, along woth some decision making regarding how to break throug on tour.
1. I plan to see the best Gold-rated coach in the world : Lou Marquez, and come up witn a physical solution to the problem that would cause a mental solution to the same.
2. No league play, just practice and local tournaments.
3. Seiously and realistically looking at a substitution activity for the time andeffort I put in to bowling, just in case I never return to required competitive skill set that I possessed for many years and lost 5 years ago (along with part of my esophogus and part of my stomach and all of my confidence!
I will keep you all informed.

regrouping is NOT another word for quitting!]

From Agony to ????????

Last week was definitely a re-learning experience. As much as I work and practice on Long Island, it is virtually impossible for a pro bowler to experience and be prepared for the tour patterns, transition and necessary adjustments we have on tour.(which is one of the reasons I am so impressed by Mike Fagan, and his ability to compete on the "kids" tour).
I had an extremely disappointing week, finishing tied for 105th out of a field of 119. On a positive note, I didn't quit......and I used the 2nd block as a real learning experience......lots of experimentation.

I left Hammond for Decatur on Tuesday with a committment to work on the necessary elements missing from my game.........bowled approximately 45 games between Tues and Friday. Official practice session for the tournament was this afternoon......it all came together! I see it continuing to come together tomorrow afternoon/evening in the tournament proper. Its simply a matter of practicing what I teach......Less is More.
More to follow after the first block......thinking and feeling positive thoughts!
PS.....Jeanine and Craig are having a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!What Great News!

"The Long and Winding Road"

I shall be leaving Long Island at 7 PM with an ETA of between 9 and 10 AM. I-80 is probably one of the most boring roads in the Interstate Highway System......especially Pennsylvania......nothing personal but from Bartonsville to Dubois is BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRing.

I am looking forward to enjoying each and every moment while I'm on tour..........especially the last 2 weeks in Michigan when Marti is with me.

Not much more to say........getting in the van within 15 minutes....sleep well whilst I travel.

G

Why I Hate Packing and traveling

I always pack too much of what I don't need; and not enough of what I do need.

No matter how neatly I pack, anything I want to wear winds up needing to be ironed.

No matter how much I love competing on tour, I am already lonely, being away from the few hours I spend with Marti each day.

No matter how much I move things or throw things out, the van ALWAYS is a mess.

No matter how much I like to drive (its a control issue) I wish I could push a button and be in my chosen destination, van, clothing and bowlingballs included.

So many people would love to do what I do..........and I sometimes question what is it that I do?

Leave it to me to complain about doing what I love to do!......(what is it I love to do?.....lol)

Now that I got all this off of my chest, I'll pack, load the van (if I can find room in there), and leave tomorrow morning for a 13 hour drive to Hammond, Indiana, where I will continue to chase the dream!

Even with all this bitching, I'm a damn good bowler and will handle the process while the outcome will be what the outcome is!

Speak to you from Indiana.
G

Ready of Not, Here I Come!

Of course, I'm ready......lol. Physically and mentally, I am probably in the best shape of my bowling career......I say this why?

1. All of the bowling balls react the way they were mapped out and planned......which in layman sense means, I am able to repeat shots no matter what I am using,which makes the unique qualities and attributes of each ball present.

2. A "deep inside"excitement and anticipation of what is to come......looking forward and truly feeling "NOW IS MY TIME".

3. Truly understanding that I am only responsible for the process and whatever it entails; I cannot control the outcome, although positive thinking and visualization certainly helps.

4. There is no pressure on me to succeed; I am already a success for winning by competing rather than quitting.......you don't have to win a tournament to be a winner; positive steps forward are significant wins.

5. I have nothing to prove.....other than proving to myself I have made it all the way back. As far as the rest of the bowling world, there are some that have made it back with serious illnesses and injuries, and, unfortunately, those who could not. I have been in that area betwixt and between and am finally stepping out of the darkness, into the light! My making it back and getting a title will be the penultimate comeback from 2 bouts with major cancer, emotional and financial upheaval, lots of personal doubt and all of the emotional baggage that goes with it.

So, my readers, I will get in my loaded van on Thursday and drive the long night's journey into day (apologies to Eugene O'Neill") and enjoy the career I have chosen in retirement.....and compete with the Greatest Senior Professional Bowlers in the World, who also happen to be comprised of the greatest, coolest friends in the world.

I will be in touch throughout the tournament play and the sightseeing because, after all, we only bowl 5 hours a day.........lots of time to fill. Hammond and Decatur.....2 of my favorite tournaments.

Speak to you from Indiana.

Changes in Lattitude, Changes in Attitude

Its been a month since my last confession. It has been an eventful,exciting month as I am whipping myself in shape for the tour which begins in a week and 2 days in Hammond, Indiana. In past seasons, I had dreaded the 4-6 week break in the middle of the senior tour. This year I needed the 6 weeks to re-evaluate and re-train and re-tool in order to succeed in the last 4 tournaments......which I plan to achieve. An example of the "new"standards occured Saturday in a senior regional in Turnersville,NJ ; a center that is high scoring no matter what the pattern as long as the humidity is below 30 . This weekend it was 70 to 80% causing intermittent inconsistent approaches that bothered at least 1/2 the field......even a few guys in the top 1/2 had sliding and leverage problems on certain pairs. They really didn't bother me as I shot 162 (strikes only on the left, chopped 6 10 and missed 9 pin) 198 clean....couldn't carry the left lane,,,,,and then it happened.Out stepped the big stopper......the mother of all games lost......with 4 splits and 2 1pin misses a 135. Up until last week, my mental game would have allowed me to accept this as a negative repeat of history, one that I never was able to recover from. I sat myself down after that game and started to laugh.....not a nervous laugh or laugh of desperation......it was a funny laugh when I questioned myself as to what the fQXK happened........my choice was continue thinking to myself what would happen.......or take control of the process and let the outcome happen..........which was the choice I chose. 236, 216,189,203, 202........... from -105 to -74. It doesn't seem like much , but to me it was acting on a decison...an excercise in not letting outcome ruin process. I belong out on the senior tour,,,,,,,and thats where I'll be throughout the month of August.

From Homesick to HOME, SICK!!!

Last Thursday was an interesting day: left Las Vegas at 10:00 AM, sunny and 80+ degrees, through the beautiful mountains and canyons of Utah, through rainy and SNOWY Rockies, Denver and finally some Ramada Inn in Colorado......temperature change of 50 degrees with all my winter clothing back in NY.......Friday and Saturday were consistently in the 60's as I traveled I-80, one of the longest and most boring roads in this beautiful country. I finally got in the apartment at about 3:00 pm on Sunday........hungry, cold, exhausted, nose running, aches in parts of my body I did not know existed.......yes, I was Home, Sick!

Well, its Wednesday......still a tickle in my throat, still achy, nose still running....going to the doctor tomorrow.....of course doctors do not work on Wednesday.....I believe that its an official AMA holiday! I am sure its nothing but allergies or a cold or virus.....just that this hypochondriac does not want it to turn into bronchitis or pneumonia. Ah....the perils of being a professional senior bowler.

My van has 6000 more miles on it than it did on May 25.......it came through the trip no worse for wear, except an AC that was fixed so well that it crapped out worse than the most unlucky craps player in vegas history!(Not any different than my trip to Vegas 2 years ago in the same van).

I finally attempted to bowl again yesterday.......either Deer Park's house shot is simple or the US OPEN and SENIOR MASTERS patterns were impossible for a Long Island house hack (a name that a jealous "fan" of mine once coined and has stuck in my throat like an apple in a suckling pig)......yes I was able to strike from all angles with any piece of equipment at DPB.

After the doctor, I will try to bowl again tomorrow, maybe even bothering my wife at Wantagh lanes, where she works on thursday nights........I will not give in to the negative.....all I need is a breakthrough tournament to loosen my armswing and return ME to being ME!

I will hopefully see both Liz and Marisa on tuesday evening........

The Long Drive Home

I will leave Las Vegas sometime later today........its almost midnight here. I am beaten, but not defeated.....YET! The past two weeks were an eye opener for me; I have never been so disappointed with myself...... I have become a house hack, bowling only in DPB and Wantagh. I do not bowl tournaments......other than PBA Senior National events and some PBA East Regionals (1 last year, 2 so far this year). For the record......I did not shoot +161 Tuesday nor did I do that today......I remained in the red, although there were guys that finished quite a bit worse than I did.........but I'm sure that they do not have the experience I have, nor the success I achieved before I got sick.

My beautiful wife/life partner has totally encouraged me; supporting my bowling "habit", believing in my reaching for my dream. I will continue to work on what needs to be "fixed"; bowl the senior regional in July at Turnersville, and bowl 4 of the 5 remaining PBA senior events in August. I am very competition rusty and need to compete in order to compete (if that makes sense).

Although I'm sad and disappointed, I am looking forward to having my arms around my wife......I love her so much and need her so much.