Finding out whats going on

I guess its not all about me.......but at this point I am being very selfish......and making it all about me. I am going to a cardiologist tomorrow, trying to figure out what is going on with my body. I have not felt well since cancer struck me in 2004. Yes, the surgery was successful........yes, the chemo worked......yes, I married my sweetheart.....yes, I had one daughter marry her best friend.....yes, I have a daughter who has been successful in education, working and guiding others and being successful in my first union...802.....yes, I have a stepdaughter who will never be a stepdaughter.......she is a very determined, courageous woman who is not afraid to be who she is!........2 step sons who will never be stepsons.....both as different as night and day, but both searching for their rainbow.........my stepdaughter who will never be a stepdaughter.....who is the mother of 3 of the greatest grandchildren a person could ask for!

...Yes......I make it all about me. I am scared of what I don't know........ a doctor I don't know........feeling that at almost 63, how vulnerable I really am....... a desire to be out of a 2 room mess into a home with the woman I love.......feeling heat rather than cold.....an oasis where all of our kids can stay and hang out......cooking in a real kitchen on a real stove and a real barbecue. I want to grow old with Marti........watch our kids sort out their lives and be who and what they want to be.......watch our grandchildren grow and flourish.

.....Yes.....I make it all about me. I am scared!